Stories We Never Ever Heard

Is It Possible To Be Scared/Mad 20 Years Later?

It all began with, "WE WERE BORED". That's it. All the stories start the same because boyish minds tend to dream up all kinds of mayhem when their minds have no clear Agenda. So beware of tedium in the young.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/37068842@N03/3443840641/

The grownups were all innocently pursuing their own interests, cooking, or working, or even just reading. Their sons were bored and searching. Riding bikes down a large culvert in a New Mexico town. And then suddenly a large brick (or stone or rock or cement block, the details aren't certain) came whizzing past the innocent head of one boy. That boy did not like the large brick whizzing past his head, innocent or otherwise. 

So he spun around (his cousin saying, "Wait.."), picked up his own large brick and hurled it in the general direction of the stone thrower's head; this person quickly ducked behind a cement fence just in time for the brick to strike the top of the cement and change its trajectory. The direction was now straight through the downstairs window of the stone thrower's house. BUSTED! 

More things now happened in quick succession:

• the original stone thrower's mother came out of her house screaming
• the boys on their bikes turned and dashed from the scene
• the bike riding brick thrower escaped but then got lost
• the bike riding brick thrower's cousin did not escape
• the cousin explained reasonably that the screaming mother's son had thrown the first stone
• the screaming mother turned to scream at her son
• the cousin escaped and found his cousin wandering hapless and lost

To their credit all of this was relayed, with some trepidation, at the dinner table that night. The cousin felt he had just better get it over with in case any police showed up at the door. His uncle listened, then said, "Looks like you had a pretty busy time of it."  A small silence. "Pass the potatoes, please.."

And that was that. Thank goodness for understanding uncles (who had had, I know, similar escapes of his own..).

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That bike riding brick thrower (now grown and in his right mind) relayed yet another story to us around the table, as we celebrated a 90th birthday. The same two boys (this time in an Oregon town) felt bored and started mooching around in a vacant lot. Suddenly, "Hey look at this! A bunch of snakes!" 

The boys advanced gingerly toward several snakes in the dirt, snakes who were minding their own sweet business, perhaps discussing how nice it was to have found such a spacious place to live and slither around in, and with no boys to bother them.

But their reverie was interrupted. The snakes were scooped up and carried to the front yard of one cousin, where they slithered in confusion as the boys discussed the possibilities. "Hey. Why don't we make them into water snakes?"

The snakes were forthwith propelled (head first) into a nearby water hose. They were extremely reluctant to go but could think of no exit strategy of their own. I don't like to think about it but that water hose was probably hot and steamy, and rather confusing. But into the hose they went, one after another. 

And suddenly - ON went the water, all at once gushing forth with great force. OUT came the snakes, flying through air and water in an almost perfect series of aimed arcs, to land thump! into the grass. Other things now happened in quick succession.

• the snakes slithered away
• they were scooped up in mid-slither
• the snakes were inserted
• the water was turned on
• the snakes flew out of the hose in a series of almost perfect arcs
• you know the rest

Ah, the innocence of youth. The carefree moments of boys with a few hours alone, no grownups hovering, no timecards to punch. There are other summer stories of boredom, perhaps involving the Grand Canyon, or Rooster Rock, or the back yard sprinkler. But we will draw a veil over those, for now. 

I don't think I can take any more.

See you along the way!

the SconeLady

*do not try this at home

**no snakes were harmed in the making of this story

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/37068842@N03/3443840641/">hamishhenry</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/usfwsnortheast/5277663243/">U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Northeast Region</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>