Out of nowhere, in the classic dive and grab, it flew at me from behind and grasped my chicken pita as if it had been invited to.
But why was I eating another chicken pita? I'd decided, after church, to go back to the Food and Drink festival on Porthminster Beach and revisit that Greek place. One was great, and two would be even better. But I was sadly distracted from finding a safe place to eat it. What had distracted me so much?
I was distracted by the fact that a small child, perhaps two years, was strapped into a stroller it did not want to be strapped into. Everyone, all thousands of us, heard it. It was a scream without end; a blood-curdling wail like no other wail you have ever known. Everyone felt sorry for the poor father who was trying to problem-solve, but I was actually on the child's side of the argument. Any baby who cries for any reason, right now, gains my vote because I can't bear to see or hear an anguished child! A nearly two-year-old is waiting adorably for me back at home, and any Cornish child's cry-scream-shriek or wail reminds me of that one.
But truly, dear Readers, that Scream did go on. No conversation could be had, no music could cover it. It was what it was, and I forgot about sea gulls. I was thinking about that poor child all strapped in, when the - WHAM! happened. I couldn't believe it. How DARE that icky sea gull get my pita??
I'd been standing in front of the band that was about to play their first tune, not 10 inches from me. They saw it all.
"Wow. Bummer." said the guitarist.
"Hate those things." said the drummer.
"Thanks," I said, remembering that David Cameron had promised to "do something about those sea gulls". I really wish he had.
The band's first chord clanged out, making my ears shrink back from the assault. But - there was another noise, something shrill... something constant. Everybody looked around to find it...
It was the Screamer.
See you along the way!