They Always Run Screaming From The Room

It is a running joke in our family that the walls of swimsuit fitting rooms should be padded. And sound-proofed. For imminent despair awaits the woman who dares - in a sad moment of weakness - to try on swimwear. It's a miracle that any company who creates it stays in business, for all of us hate all of them. We believe they are a Conspiracy.

Today was one of those rare days I dared try. Alone. I would never do something like this with anyone else, it would be too hard on a relationship. So I hesitated, but hoped that this time there might be a miracle. I was nearing a Victoria's Secret store and thought, what the heck. The 20-foot bra at the Entrance seemed to whisper to me, "You will be sorry, honey. Just look at me and then DARE."

https://www.flickr.com/photos/35576012@N07/4402510910/

Ignoring this, I picked out a few possibilities and approached the fitting room (in mild panic). I had to admit that Victoria had the right idea, though - their fitting rooms were dark. Nearly pitch black, in fact. The darkness almost obliterated the person in my mirror. "This won't be so bad," I reasoned. "I can't really even see myself."

But low lights or high make little difference when someone searches out their own flaws. Squinting through the darkness toward the mirror, I thought I saw something that looked vaguely like - Cellulite! Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!! 

I'm sure everyone all the way to the Food Court heard the blood-curdling screams.

           https://www.flickr.com/photos/35576012@N07/4401747079/

Who owns Victoria's Secret, anyway? It must be some man somewhere who never thinks of the phobic medications he is responsible for (oh dear...I just learned that a woman and her husband created it. Six days before I got married in '77. Oops).






I've heard that some companies create webpages selling swimsuits that 'hide' one's flaws. Where the patron has only to click on a link to order one of these marvels. No one need try anything on before purchase. No one (apart from your husband who is watching the Visa purchases online) need know you ordered it at all.


That all sounds wonderful, but they forget - even with the anonymity of the Internet, there will always be a mirror - the worst invention since the day Adam reached for the apple...

(or, oops...was that Eve who reached?). 


See you along the way!
the SconeLady



photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/35576012@N07/4402510910/">Lucero Design</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/35576012@N07/4401747079/">Lucero Design</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>