Monarch Of The Sea

We had always wanted to visit the Minack. Have you heard of it? 

The Minack is an outdoor theatre in Cornwall built by one woman on the cliffs of the Lizard peninsula. The views are always spectacular, but it is entirely possible to find yourself in the rain, soaking yourself through. We shivered about this a little, checking iPhones for forecasts. But no one, not even the weather experts, knows in advance what the weather in Cornwall will or will not do.

We found where the website said, "Tickets", and clicked. For a while, though, the website offered nothing, since you can't really trust the virus to leave people alone when they are IN THE OPEN AIR. But, finally...

"You're not going to believe this!" I said to my sister when the Minack had finally decided.

"Believe what?" she asked.

"Believe that we are going to see the HMS Pinafore on September 22!"

Screeches erupted from her end of the line. "What?! You mean the real HMS Pinafore? The one Dad taught us all the songs to?"

"Same!" Our childhoods had been steeped in "Captain of the Pinafore", "Sweet Little Buttercup", and "I am the Monarch of the Sea", hilariously sung by sailors, pretty girls, the Captain, a lady of ill-repute, and the rather nutty Monarch. That old record album practically lost its grooves (and didn't get them back) as we played it ad-nauseum - until I feel certain our sweet mother developed a twitch.

And now we were going to go see it! My sister and I sat on the couch in our adorable cottage to figure out how to get there. We thought: bus. but then found out it would take two hours to get there and two hours to get back. Ok, so not bus. We tried to add in a train ride, but that only complicated our already addled minds, until I had a brilliant idea: taxi. 

"Taxi?" said my sister. "Isn't that, ahh, kind of expensive?" My fingers flew to the laptop, and I waited for it to answer.

"Ah... yes it is." So, not taxi. But the not taxi phase didn't last very long because we kept going back to the being-in-a-bus-getting-car-sick-for-four-hours phase. Since we really had no choice, we decided to throw caution to the wind and get a cab (the amazing Larry was strangely in favor of this plan. I figured out later that two sick women in the top of a double-decker bus had never been his idea of fun).

Our cabbie was a superior fellow, thrilled to find that we wanted to talk and not listen to our headphones like so many annoying customers do. We talked about kids, school, taxi-driving, people who lost their jobs but decided not to go back to work because they get more money from the government than they'd earned working (our two governments were identical in this scheme), and then - at the end - the conversation turned toward beer. 

But as the cabbie drew up to the Minack, we had to postpone the ins and outs of beer. Instead we saw the most gleaming panorama which was as striking as Nice, France! Or the Italian Riviera! Or even Greece! Massive, blue, and stupendous, the English Channel at its very best. 

This became the backdrop for the wonderful Gilbert and Sullivan production of HMS Pinafore, containing some of the greatest satirical songs known to man. As the Cambridge Players sang their hearts out, their audience joined in without being able to stop themselves. We certainly did not stop ourselves. 

I am the Monarch of the sea,

the Ruler of the Queen's Nay-vee.

Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants

And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts!

His sisters and his cousins (whom he reckons up by dozens) and his aunts!

Or, what the Captain says, here:

Bad language or abuse

I never, never use

Whatever the emergency.

Though "Bother it" I may

Occasionally say,

I never use a big, big D

All: "What, never?"

Captain: "No, never!"

All: "What, never?"

Captain: "Well, hardly ever!!"

At the end, our faithful cabbie drew up to let us in, turned around, and then drove us back to St Ives - talking all about the ins and outs of beer. Surprisingly he took us to the splendid Bier Haus, "the greatest beer restaurant ever." It might be the first time a teetotaler had ever been driven by a Cornish cabbie across the Lizard peninsula - and ended up inside a beer joint. 

But give three cheers and one cheer more for...... the Captain of the Pinafore!

See you along the way!

the SconeLady