All Joking Aside

 

Once or twice each day, I walk straight up one of the many hills of St Ives. Straight-up isn't easy, but it is getting easier for me, now at the beginning of my fourth week here. The first day was appalling, with stops every half minute or so. Now, I can trudge along at a pretty quick clip, head down, hardly stopping. 

Today I entered the forested grounds of Tregenna Castle, and noticed again two signs (see video above) that sit just feet from one another.

"Dog walking is strictly prohibited," one sign said. And then..

"Dog waste only." This is printed on a small red/black bin evidently meant for poop from the strictly prohibited dogs being walked.

Okay. Is it a joke? I want to know.

Another sign that caught my attention my first day here is the banner high above Fore Street. Two years ago it said "WELCOME TO THE ST IVES SEPTEMBER FESTIVAL!!" Now it says, "PLEASE KEEP TO YOUR LEFT" in an attempt at social distancing. It might be effective if it were POSSIBLE to keep to your left. But there are crowds with perambulators and dogs and toddlers. There are shoppers criss-crossing that street continually to see if the other shop has a better price. Will anyone in those crowds keep to their left? Will they kindly NOT cross the road until they get to the end of Fore Street and then turn around and KEEP TO THEIR LEFT again? I gave it a try, really I did, that first day. The thing's impossible!

Is it a joke? I want to know.

The 'dog beach' is another poser. My sister and I noticed precisely which beaches were dog beaches and which were NOT dog beaches. There were signs on the not-dog beaches that said, "DOGS STRICTLY PROHIBITED ON THIS BEACH". We actually found only one real 'dog beach', the tiniest possible beach at the edge of civilization that had - I am not making this up - NO DOGS ON IT. Then we walked along the not-dog beaches, and I'm sure it comes as a huge surprise to you to learn that those beaches were CRAMMED WITH DOGS. Not that we minded. We didn't. The dogs of St Ives are the sweetest things in the world. The only trouble the dogs of St Ives have is with the other dogs. Today I saw two incidents of one dog biting another, resulting in yips and yaps, elongated barking sessions, and dog owners 'having a word' with the other dog owners.

Are those NO DOG signs a joke? What about the Keep to the Left signs? And are the poop signs a joke? Does anyone else get confused, back and forth? Not that it matters. It doesn't. It's all just part of what makes Cornwall a Lifestyle, not a Holiday. But which committee is it that gets to decide what bewildering directives will be printed and put onto signs in St Ives?

I want to know.

The Rather Stunning Son filming a dog of St Ives

See you along the way!

the SconeLady