What Is A TeeTotaler?

Clock Tower in Downham Market

I might as well tell you, although it might make you upset at the man I sat next to on the plane. I did tell you that the flight was pretty much perfect, with next-to-no turbulence, and they served us so many meals and snacks that I, for one, became stuffed. The man next to me was comatose the first few hours of the flight, but all of a sudden he woke up, jumped to his feet and yelled, "HEY!"touching the call button. Now that he was properly awake, I noticed that he looked a little bit like Jesus might have looked. That was odd, because jumping up in an airplane and yelling "HEY!" real loud wasn't the sort of thing Jesus would do. 

Our row of passengers sat stock still. Soon a male flight attendant leaned down to ask the man if something was wrong. The man who looked like Jesus said that yes, there was something wrong, something very dreadfully wrong, because the flight attendants were all racists who didn't know what the goose they were doing. He flailed his arms around, escalating up and up until the flight attendant left and got two more flight attendants. 

Dreams of my lovely holiday in Cornwall began to dim.

Soon there were three flight attendants in the aisle being yelled at, and everyone else was getting sick and tired of these shenanigans. In the end I and the lady on his other side got new seating assignments. The man collapsed into the entire row, now empty of all but himself, and slept.

I have only one other note to add to this drama at 40,000 feet over the Pond. There were several empty beer cans laying around the man's feet. Great Scott! Where had they all come from? No wonder he was in such a State.

Which reminds me of something, dear Readers, that might shock you. Get ready for it: Airline flights ought to be TeeTotal. Do you know what I mean by that? I come from a long line of TeeTotalers, which means they don't drink alcohol and therefore would never dream of yelling at flight attendants and spoiling nice people's holiday plans in Cornwall.

(And there would be a lot less shenanigans.)

See you along the way!

the SconeLady